I turned 50 this month and part of me thinks it’s just a number. I mean, I still wear anime tees, fangirl like a prepubescent, adore my plushies, and play video games. So despite the graying hair, aching joints, and being tired ALL THE TIME, aging is just a state of mind.
But 50 is actually a badge of honor, and I’d be selling myself short if I didn’t look at it that way. Getting to this point wasn’t easy. I can’t even begin to count the number of times I have stumbled, fallen, and refused to get up. But eventually I did get up and each time I did I learned something new about other people, the world around me, and myself. My lessons were not always deep, but just knowing I was capable of trying again is enough some days.
When we were in our early 30s, Mark and I had a friend who told us that life was more awesome after 40. He was so right. A lot of people will say you’re more financially stable and more confident, and that’s all true; for me it’s more being at peace with myself.
In my 20s I was trying to please everyone else. I thought that it was my calling in life to make others happy—as if I were some miraculous ray of sunshine. In my 30s I was trying to live up to some American version of success (important job title, large salary, fancy vacations, etc.), and when I didn’t accomplish all of it I labeled myself a failure.
In my 40s I learned to be grateful. I learned to stop blaming myself for not being “better”. I prayed more and took my soul more seriously. And as I enter this 5th decade, I’ve judged myself and others less. I am blessed with an amazing husband, beautiful daughters, loving parents, dependable siblings (who come with their own families to add to the mix!), wonderful in-laws, and so many awesome friends!
I know I’ll still make mistakes, still stumble and fall. Nothing will be perfect. But I know I’m capable of getting up.
And look at this card Sofs made me. How can I not feel awesome???
Sofs made this for me. Isn’t it beautiful? At the top you have Sofs, Mark, Pippa, pNut, and an octopus (naturally). At the bottom there’s Gojo, Kakashi, Sugawara, Todoroki, Silver, Yor, and Anya. So cute!!!
celebrate good times…come on!
The celebrations started in March and I feel like I should be able to get away with celebrating for the remainder of 2024 (Mark may be asking me to calm down). Earlier in the month, we celebrated with our friend Mary at 2941. To be fair, we were celebrating several things: she made it into the semi-finals of an “uber talent only” piano competition, Sofs got accepted into the high school she applied to and got a scholarship, Mark and Mary’s birthdays from last May because Mary was out of town, Sofs’s February birthday, and of course my birthday. We had the best time. If you go, make sure you ask James the sommelier to choose your wines because he is downright amazing. I wish we had taken pictures!
Two weeks or so later, Mark took me to Elyse to celebrate. This is the newest creation from Chef Jonathan Krinn. The place isn’t open to the general public, there are only 30 tables and very limited reservations. It was so wonderful to see Chef JK again and you know his menu did not disappoint! His dad still makes the delicious bread!
A week later (March is a long month!) Mark, Sofs, and I checked out Roberto’s Ristorante Italiano in Vienna. We were greeted in Italian, glimpsed Chef Roberto Donna mingling in the dining room, witnessed the “show” of table-side service (they do the pasta in a giant parmesan cheese wheel thing), and were seated in a room that had these authentic Venetian masks. All of it had us reminiscing about our vacation last year. It was wonderful.
pNut drew this Totoro inspired birthday card for me! My girls are so talented. The personalities and expressions are so PERFECT.
The following day, pNut joined us from Richmond and we did dim sum at Mama Chang by Chef Peter Chang! We’ve been wanting to try this place for a while and I’m glad we got reservations because there were people waiting when we got there and more people waiting when we left. It was one delicious dish after another. I thought we were just doing this light dim sum thing, but the food was so good we couldn’t stop.
Later that evening (all I did in March was eat), my family came together at Trio Grill where Mark had reserved the private room for us. Ruby put together the greatest decorations with balloons and a Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band inspired centerpiece that was so fun! It felt perfect to have this celebration with my parents, siblings and their families. The cocktails were amazing, the food was delicious, the desserts were so yum! I wouldn’t be surprised if I gained 10 lbs or more that weekend.
Ruby put this card together for me. If this isn’t the definition of amazing, I don’t know what is.
On the back of this fantastic collage is a link to a Spotify playlist Ruby put together with songs I love or songs with fun, special memories attached to them. She had Mark and the girls add to the playlist as well. So later that evening, we’re at home singing songs from Bon Jovi, Wham!, the Top Gun soundtrack, the Mulan soundtrack, and When In Rome (to name a few) at the top of our lungs. This finally clarified something that pNut said earlier in the day:
The only music that I know mama likes is Rob Zombie and Disney.
It’s hilarious and makes me sound like such an enigma.
Back to the Future
If I were able to tell my younger self everything I know now, it wouldn’t matter. First of all, I wouldn’t have listened. That’s just how we are when we’re young. People who have “been there and done that” can tell us until they’re blue in the face but we have to live our own lives, make our own mistakes. Secondly, all those mistakes made me who I am today, and I’m pretty content with who I am. I guess what I would stress most to younger people (and my younger self if I could have) is to realize that there’s nothing wrong with you. You were born unique and amazing. Knowing that worth will make you pretty happy and it’s a good place to be by the time you get to 50.
Celebrate with me!
Soon, I’ll be opening and trying some whisky Mark had shipped. One is Talisker Surge and the other is Ardbeg Darkness—my favorite distilleries! He also got me this beautiful orchid! Look at that color!
My dear friend Regan sent me a bag of goodies as well. Among all the wonderful things (like a super cute and buttery soft scarf) there’s this candle called INTROVERT with the description, “smells like: canceled plans and a weighted blanket.” Sofs saw it and asked why it was so accurate. HAHA!
I’m ready to keep celebrating—birthday or not! Let’s meet up! Let’s celebrate life!